Yelmidians take cover under
shadow of suspicious creature. Mountain News
Fear continues to dominate the men,
woman, and children of this town as a dark shadow looms overhead. Suspicions
persevere and rumors spread as far too many sightings of “a winged bat-like
creature” go unexplained. It started as childish rumors after the May 1980
eruption of Mount Saint Helens and has spread to community horror as the
truth continues
to emerge. While preparing for a climb in early 1994, local mountaineer
and liquor store owner Butch Whittaker managed to take several pictures
of the beast during a rare midday flight (see left). Butch Whittaker, expert
in paranormal activity and unexplained phenomena, considers himself lucky
to experience this encounter but adds, "I'm not surprised. These things
happen to me all the time." Although government officials deny the existence
of any photographic evidence, our staff experts closely scrutinized all
photos and found no reason to hold this position.
To date four goats, five chickens,
two cows, and our prized pig are unaccounted for. No humans are reported
missing but this is no measure of the never-ending toll placed on this
community’s pride and mental well-being. All Pioneer Day festivities were
canceled last week and with the recent loss of Priscilla Pig, scheduled
dancing this Saturday presumably will fall prey to this monstrous being
as well. Neither Police Chief Durhamm nor our Mayor will estimate potential
long term effects of continued attacks but both were obviously saddened
by the loss of Priscilla.
Editor’s note. If you have seen
this creature, report to the nearest Unexplained Flying Kinetically Retaliatory
Animal office immediately |